hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
