Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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