Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My balls are so social today.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
