i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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