You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
