Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
