So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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