You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
