You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
