I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So much Jack, so little girl.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
