Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize