tell your sister to shave her snatch
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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