So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.