I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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