do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher