At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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