Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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