Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2651) Bad night (684)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.

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  (612): I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick. http://tfl.nu/mxvd
  Replies (10) Good night (960) Bad night (2942)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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  (425): Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away. http://tfl.nu/ldh5
  Replies (6) Good night (3876) Bad night (1058)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions

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  (813): I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions http://tfl.nu/060m
  Replies (6) Good night (2398) Bad night (902)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

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  (904): This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them. http://tfl.nu/3ylo
  Replies (5) Good night (2252) Bad night (883)
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  (562): View more from California

  I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.

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  (562): I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy. http://tfl.nu/l30m
  Replies (9) Good night (3288) Bad night (833)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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  (785): Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots. http://tfl.nu/uyhv
  Replies (9) Good night (838) Bad night (1909)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.

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  (205): I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating. http://tfl.nu/dthl
  Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (1298)
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  (831): View more from California

  Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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  (831): Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline http://tfl.nu/8i35
  Replies (9) Good night (498) Bad night (1119)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance

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  (480): He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance http://tfl.nu/vksf
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (445)
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  (559): View more from California

  I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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  (559): I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce." http://tfl.nu/n8hm
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (472)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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  (502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (584)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?

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  (404): He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind? http://tfl.nu/kg6f
  Replies (9) Good night (954) Bad night (363)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?

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  (856): Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them? http://tfl.nu/b8rj
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (782)
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  (845): View more from New York

  How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother

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  (845): How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother http://tfl.nu/c9gy
  Replies (13) Good night (490) Bad night (335)

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