did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
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Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot