Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.