you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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