Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What? You're not speaking real words.

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  (423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go
  Replies (30) Good night (955) Bad night (2645)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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  (203): It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it" http://tfl.nu/xj55
  Replies (12) Good night (652) Bad night (3060)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
  Replies (15) Good night (998) Bad night (3791)
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  (707): View more from California

  You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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  (707): You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative http://tfl.nu/7tsg
  Replies (16) Good night (1141) Bad night (5641)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

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  (319): For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july.. http://tfl.nu/uo05
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (2657)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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  (978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv
  Replies (8) Good night (4060) Bad night (932)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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  (+44): all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no http://tfl.nu/jen9
  Replies (15) Good night (2606) Bad night (1308)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.

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  (704): Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time. http://tfl.nu/8mlt
  Replies (6) Good night (3013) Bad night (1135)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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  (250): Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team. http://tfl.nu/f49a
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.

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  (919): Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ea08
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (462)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.

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  (906): Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night. http://tfl.nu/afvo
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (251)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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  (609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj
  Replies (8) Good night (296) Bad night (1042)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

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  (601): I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome. http://tfl.nu/2jlt
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up

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  (202): you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up http://tfl.nu/s6ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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  (267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (239)

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