Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.

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  (614): Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash. http://tfl.nu/fkwm
  Replies (8) Good night (2901) Bad night (610)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4825) Bad night (1432)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly

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  (518): you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly http://tfl.nu/e809
  Replies (23) Good night (920) Bad night (5377)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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  (252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son. http://tfl.nu/kdpy
  Replies (27) Good night (8347) Bad night (1658)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14847) Bad night (2630)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4989) Bad night (1190)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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  (804): She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch http://tfl.nu/datu
  Replies (14) Good night (4382) Bad night (1279)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip

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  (360): we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip http://tfl.nu/7xer
  Replies (3) Good night (2138) Bad night (706)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

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  (406): Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar http://tfl.nu/9n3o
  Replies (6) Good night (1458) Bad night (694)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.

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  (757): It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog. http://tfl.nu/clzo
  Replies (3) Good night (1757) Bad night (646)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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  (859): I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning http://tfl.nu/1f1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1181) Bad night (1678)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.

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  (573): He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/1tmt
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (857)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

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  (+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (479)
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  (818): View more from California

  You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

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  (818): You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it. http://tfl.nu/2dbt
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (351)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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  (254): And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan http://tfl.nu/1xmj
  Replies (7) Good night (1068) Bad night (240)

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