I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
