i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
