grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
His nipple licking is glorious
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