Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize