..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
