Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
