so that wasnt chicken after all
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
