Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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