If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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