I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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