Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
