Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
