legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
