Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize