Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
