I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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