I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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