So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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