I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
bring money and cleavage
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
