i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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