I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
