9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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