Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
