I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
