You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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