Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
