did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
