Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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