problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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