my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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