I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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