I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities