My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.