Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?