is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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