Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Quick, to the slutcave!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
