I faked an abortion last night.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
