i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
