So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
