1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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