No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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