The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
