I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
