I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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