he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
