I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
