Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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