We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
