Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
