Pants 0. Shit 1.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There r osticjed everywhere
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
