I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
