i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Randomize
