Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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