the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
