All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
